Life Lately

Life is crazy right now. Crazy and stressful. I hope to be back a bit more soon, but right now, things are just all over the place.

Still gyming, though have fallen off the running wagon.

B's still as cute as ever and has recently completely fallen in love with Snapchat (I'm still undecided).

Seriously-- want to entertain a kid, turn on the Snapchat face filter thing. Girl is obsessed.

I'm currently re-watching Gilmore Girls. Yes, again. And, no you can never watch this show too many times.

Anyway- life is life. Things are busy (are they ever not?). More later. Sometime. Eventually.

 

Lately

Life lately has been relatively uneventful.

Well, perhaps not totally uneventful. The Hubs and I had a last minute vacation to Universal Studios to check out Harry Potter and to Disney. It's a long story, but the short version is we were all set to go on a cruise to Mexico, but decided the Zika virus was a little to scary for us and bailed on that plan. The night before we were supposed to leave. Yup. It was a hectic 24 hours of replanning and changing plans and calling everyone under the sun, but I'm happy with out decision. We had a great time, even if now whenever I tell people that was our vacation and they ask "Aw! Bet Bailey had a blast!" and I have to reply "Errrr.... she didn't go." It was great to get some time together just us, especially in the happiest place on earth. I won't bombard you with pics, just one.

Beyond our Mickey Mouse and Harry Potter fueled vacation, it's been business as usual.

Bailey naps are a thing of the past.

Rascal. Girl is killing me. I'm still hoping it's a phase but I'm not optimistic.

I've been running. Not a ton... 15ish miles a week. I'm training for a 10-mile run. Very slow, but running.

The best news is my gym just started letting me leave B in the child care while I run outside. I am beyond excited! I've only taken advantage of it once so far, but plan to do at least 1 outdoor run, in addition to my long run which is also outside, per week. OUTDOOR RUNNING! WITHOUT A JOGGING STROLLER! Wahooooooo!!!!!!

Other than that, we're just chugging along. Little girl is obsessed with egg hunts and swinging right now. We're loving the slightly warmer weather, even if we are still in hats and gloves most the time we're outside. I'll take it!

That's that for now.

 

Weekend in the Lou

The Hubs and his BFF decided it was time for them to have a man-staycation so they could catch a Purdue basketball game together. I could have stayed and cheered against them, but decided I'd take Bugs and get out of there hair-- really, any excuse to take a mini-trip down to St. Louis to visit my sister and nephew.

The 5 hour car drive wasn't too bad. B read books for 2 hours and watched Mickey Mouse Clubhouse the rest of the way. Yep- 3 straight hours of OH TOODLES. Thank God for the new child headphones I bought her. B and I got in right around dinner time on Friday. We stayed in and had dinner at my sisters and watched Gilmore Girls. Because we ALWAYS watch Gilmore Girls. Because it's THE best. Obviously.

Saturday we went for a long walk in the morning and then went to my nephews basketball game where I decided I should never put B in sports because I am going to be the worst sports parent ever.

His team lost by ONE POINT and I almost had a heart attack. I just can't take it. After the devastating loss (yes, he was over it in about 2 minutes and yes, it took me closer to 2 hours-- who's counting?!?!), we went to the dog park, library, for pizza for lunch, and then to the zoo.

The St. Louis Zoo is the BEST.

B was SO MUCH fun too! She's at the perfect zoo age. She couldn't get enough animals.

Monkeys! Bears! Tigers! Penguins! It was such a great time. Seriously- if you're ever in the StL area, go. We go almost every time we're in the area and love it each time more and more.

Girl was SPENT by the end of the zoo.

So, we grabbed dinner on the way back and ate take out at home over more Gilmore Girls.

The weekend ended with a great breakfast Sunday before we took off for the drive back.

It was a GREAT weekend.

Unexplained Secondary Infertility

You know the drill.

When you're single, you're asked about a gazillion times a day if you're dating anyone.

I wasn't ready for these questions.

When you start dating someone, you're asked when you're getting married.

I wasn't ready for these questions.

No sooner than you say I do and you're being flooded with questions about when you're gonna get knocked up. And yes, I do mean the way I phrased that as it's ALWAYS the woman who's asked those questions, never the man.

I wasn't ready for these questions.

The day baby one blows the candles out on her first birthday smash cake the questions about baby two start pouring in.

I was ready for them.

Good thing too because the number of times I got asked when Matt and I are having more kids was astronomical. The day I gave birth to my beautiful, perfect little girl I knew I wanted more kid(s). I knew my heart wasn't full with and our family wasn't complete. I just knew. I can't explain it any better than that. Of COURSE I loved Bailey with my entire heart. Of course. And of course I didn't want another child that minute. Or the next 98447839 minutes. I needed time. Of course I needed some time. But, still. I knew from day 1.

Like the stereotypical suburban family, the Hubs and I started trying to have more kids after Bailey turned one.

That was over 14 months ago and the Hubs and I are still there. Trying.

I'm no longer ready or open to those questions. Those questions make my heart bleed and make me want to punch the person in the face.

After trying for baby two for a year, the Hubs and I went to a Reproductive Specialist to get poked and prodded and hand over way too much money to see WTF was going on. And what did we learn? Pretty much nothing. Hubs and I were diagnosed with Unexplained Secondary Infertility.

I can't even handle that phrase. UNEXPLAINED SECONDARY INFERTILITY.

INFERTILITY.

That word. It HAUNTS me. I never imagined one single word could occupy so much of my time and thoughts.

After going through all the tests and blood draws and more tests and more blood draws, the Hubs and I check out a-ok. More than ok. Perfect even. Nothing is "wrong" with either of us. There is NO reason we haven't been able to conceive another child. No known reason at least.

Not knowing how to fix something so important kills me. How do I fight a problem that I can't identify? How do I fix something when I don't know what's broken? It's so unbelievably frustrating.

I wish I had some elegant way to explain how I was and still am feeling. I don't. I'm mad. I'm sad. I'm scared. I'm a bitch. I'm really, really sad. I'm guilt-filled. I'm a thousand things in between and I go back and forth between these feelings at an alarming rate.  

So, that's about where I am. The Hubs and I are still trying. My emotions, thoughts and feelings are still ALL OVER the place, ALL the time.

I have a lot more to say on the topic, but I don't really know how. I'm sure, in the least elegant way, it'll spew out over time.

Bailey: 2 Year Update

I'm way late. Bailey turned two in November. Woah. Even typing that kills me. Hooooooow does time go so incredibly fast?!?!

Age: 2 years old

Size: I *think* she was about 27.5 pounds at her 2 year check up. Ugh! I'm so mad I don't know for sure. I'll be better about that.

She's in mainly 24 months clothes. Some 18 month and some 2T, just depending on what hand-me-downs we have laying around.

She's now potty trained (What?!?!? YEP!!!! I know! Don't worry... a full post about the potty training process coming soon), but when she turned 2 she was in size 4 diapers.

She does still wear a diaper to nap (though she's been dry through nap about 90% of the time) and bed (she's dry about 40% of the time). We're working our way through the leftover 4's and 5's at night to give a little extra room.

Sleep: Well, in November when she was actually turned 2, sleep was going well. She was sleeping from 7pm-7am like clockwork. She was napping from 1-3:30ish, pretty well too. Sometimes it'd take her a bit to fall asleep, but generally she was a good sleeper.

Oh, those were the glory days. The wonderful pacifier days.

Those days are over.

Ok, I'm being dramatic. We literally just this week got rid of the paci. Girl started biting through them. That's an understatement. She was destroying the paci's. And destroying them fast. She ruined one in a couple weeks and then the next in 2 days. That's when we knew it was time to get rid of it. We're in the middle of that process now, so I feel like it's not quite fair to say sleep has gone to hell. It'll get better. The first night paci-free was actually great! The second night, there were more than a few tears. I'm confident we'll get back on track. We're still on a 7am-7pm schedule with a 1-3:30pm nap. Or at least that's the plan. Keep your fingers crossed.

We're still going strong in the crib and I have no intentions of moving to a regular bed anytime soon. Girl will go to college in a crib if I have my way. She sleeps with lots of stuffed animals and blankets. Her stuffed Minnie and duck blanket are by far her favorites, but she doesn't have a lovie or anything like that.

Food: We stopped nursing when B was around 14 months. She's now eating 3 solid meals a day and, while she would LOVE to snack ALL DAY LONG, I try to limit her to 1-2 snacks. She LOVES chicken nuggets, string cheese, any kind of fruit, waffles, pancakes, bacon, salami, goldfish crackers, ice cream, and fruit snacks.

She loves milk and juice (which she got for the first time while potty training and continues to ask for it nonstop ever since). She's generally a decent eater. She's not a red-meat fan and won't touch a hamburger to save her life. Veggies are hit or miss, though she's pretty good with peas, corn and broccoli and raw carrots and cucumbers if she can dip them in ranch.

Generally I try to take the parent decides what and when we eat, child decides how much they eat rule. About 75% of the time Bailey is served whatever the Hubs and I are eating for dinner and she can then choose if and how much she eats. I'll generally also give her fruit and/or cheese, as well.

Likes:

-Shows. I limit her TV time a LOT. I try very hard not to let her watch tv 2 days in a row and to limit it to one show a day. Of course, sometimes best laid plans go to hell, but I do try. We're not a tv-on-all-the-time-even-just-in-the-background kind of family. Generally, from 7am-5pm, the TV is simply not on. If we're coming home from somewhere close to nap and I want to keep her awake in the car, I'll let her watch a show (Mickey Clubhouse or Sesame Street) in the car. But, generally-- that's it during the day. If the Hubs gets home before 5:30pm and he and I do a workout at home together, she'll watch a show while he and I workout. ANYWAY-- girl LOVES tv. Every, single day she asks for "shows". Many, many times. It's out biggest battle ground right now. Super fun. Her favorite show, by FAR, is Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. She loves Paw Patrol and the Leep Frog stuff on Netflix, too.

-Minnie Mouse. She's in love with Minnie. All day, everyday. Minnie. Minnie. Minnie.

-Princesses. Much to my dismay, B is a full fledged girly girl.

-Dolls. Again, she's a girly girl. She LOVES to play with baby dolls-- read to them, give them pretend bottles, carry them around in a pretend car seat, whatever.

-Sadie. They are BFF's and I love it.

Dislikes:

-Beef

-Going to bed/nap without a paci (ugh)

-Being told no. Of course. She's a typical toddler.

-Not being understood. She's a good talker and I can generally understand most of what she says, but still sometimes she knows what she wants but can't articulate it well enough for an adult to understand.

Nicknames: B, Peanut Butter, Bugs, Baileybug, Stinkabink, Silly Billy Gilly Girl

Hi there!

I know. It's been FOREVER. Just over a year, actually. Which is essentially forever, right?

Why the break? Who knows. Life. I suppose since I wasn't running as much I felt like I had nothing to say. Which is crazy, I know. So, why am I back? Must be since I'm running again, if you follow my non-logical logic, right? Yeah, no. I'm not running much. Still. I don't really know why I'm back, except that it feels right. I have a lot some things going on in my mind and this seems like as good a place as any to try to make sense of it all. So, that's that. I'm back. For how long or how often? Who knows. I make no promises.

So, what have I been up to? Hmm... life!


The Hubs and I are still great.

He's working and I'm still staying home with Bailey, though I am now teaching one class at a local college, as well. I LOVE staying home with B. Like, LOVE. I can't believe I do, but I do. I really like teaching, too. It's a perfect mix.

Bailey is getting bigger everyday. I can't believe she's over 2 already. Where did time go?!?!

She's an amazing little girl who is so curious and smart and kind. I am amazed by her every, single day.

And, her and her big sister are still BFF's.

I'm not running much these days, though I try to do at least some running every week. I ran 2 short races in October and 1 in November. Nothing serious and my speed is quite possibly gone forever. I'm cool with it. I'm still getting to the gym most days the week, just enjoying other things-- weights, elliptical, rower, classes.  

Wow. Is that really it? Exciting life I lead, eh? Consider yourself updated. :)

I have plenty more to say and just wanna start recording life a little better so I have something to selfishly look back on, but that's it for now.

Thanksgiving, The Plague, Turkey Trot, and More!

Well hello there 2+ week hiatus. Whoops. What can I say-- life happens. And time just keeps flying by faster and faster. I mean, how is it already DECEMBER?? Whaaaaat?? No. Freaking. Way. It was just summer like yesterday, wasn't it? I swear, fall did not exist.

Anyway-- I'm back. Or at least back-ish. Back for today. :)

Life's been crazy as usual. Bailey caught a bad stomach bug (aka the plague) the week of Thanksgiving. SO MUCH VOMIT. Like, real, grown up vomit. All of me. Over and over. And it was BRIGHT RED because she ate cherries for breakfast. FUUUUUN.

Poor bugs!! And, your welcome for sparing you from the pic of ALL THE VOMIT. Yes, I took a pic. Duh.

Fun, fun times. I swear I can still smell vomit on me. Shudder. Poor girl just did not feel good and was just all sortsa out of sorts. Tired and clingy and crabby and couldn't get comfortable and didn't wanna nap. It was SO MUCH FUN, let me tell ya.

Yes, she did lay this way for numerous minutes and Sadie just sat there and took it. Such a good doggie!

Then, of course, she gave it to me. FUN! We were both feeling OK by Wednesday so we decided to do the trek down to the St. Louis area for Thanksgiving with my fam. After a not-very fun drive where I still felt like I was gonna vomit and Bailey was still a little outta sorts (aka- cried and screamed for half the drive), we made it in 1 piece Wednesday night.

I woke up early Thursday and ran a cold and icy 5k Turkey Trot.

I wasn't wearing my Garmin... ok, I was but it didn't find satellite at all during the entire run. LAME. Anyway- I think I finished in about 31 minutes. Given the icy roads and the fact that this was my first outdoor run in months, I was pretty happy with it.

Of course, the Hubs woke up Thursday sicker than sick and puked IN THE SICK. True love is your wife cleaning your vomit out of the sink while you sleep the day away. No wonder I still swear I can smell vomit in the air. Poor guy had to miss Thanksgiving dinner. Don't worry-- we saved him lots of yummy leftovers and he woke up Friday feeling much, much better.

Friday morning we all woke up and walked in a local parade to help some family friends hand out candy. SO MUCH FUN! But, OMG! So hard to not hand ALL THE CANDY out in the first 2 seconds. Too many cute kids watching the parade BEGGING for candy.

Of course, Saturday my older sister woke up sick. Then Sunday my other sister felt crummy. WHOOPS!!!! Next time, we'll just stay home instead of spreading a tummy virus across state lines. Whoops. Sorry all!!!! At least it only seemed to last 24-ish hours.

Sunday morning after my little sister took off (and later got sick-- sorry again!), we went to breakfast with my older sister and nephew and Bailey saw Santa for the first time!!

The restaurant was having a Breakfast with Santa thing that we did NOT go to (because we already have tickets to do a b-fast with Santa this coming weekend), but Santa and Mrs. Claus just happened to walk right by our table on their way to the big breakfast and they stopped and said hello. So fun!!! Bailey was SO interested in Santa. She couldn't stop staring at him. It was SO cute! YAY for the holidays!!!!

We made it home Sunday night and are slowly getting back in the swing of things. Our fridge is emptier than empty so Bugs and I are off to re-load. Happy Tuesday!

Bailey: 12 Months!

No freaking way is Bailey a YEAR old today.

No. Way. I just can't believe it. How is it possible for it to feel like I just had her yesterday and yet also feel like she's been part of our family for so, so much longer than just a year?? However we got here, we're here...

Happy Birthday, Bailey!!!

 

 

 

Age: 1 year!!!

 

 

Size: I'd guess about 17 pounds and 28 inches. We have her 1 year check up (and yes, my list of questions for the doctor is about a mile long) Friday, so I'll know for sure then.

She's officially in 6-9 month clothes and even SOME 12 month clothes, though that has mainly been just because I bought Halloween shirts and such last year on clearance before she was born and girl was wearing it even if she was swimming in it. Oh, and she's still comfortably in size 3 diapers. Small little peanut.

 

 

Sleep: No news is good news, right? She's still doing great. Goes to bed right after nursing around 7:10pm and gets up around 6:30am. We had a really, really tough time with a double whammy of the time change and teething and that threw us off for a week or so, but we're back on track.

 

Naps are still great too. She naps from about 8:30-10:30am and then again from 1:30-3:30pm everyday. She can miss a nap here or there if necessary and does OK, especially if we're out and about and she's entertained. She definitely gets GRUMMMMMPY in the evening if she misses that afternoon nap, though. Wowza. We try very, very hard not to miss that nap.

 

For both naps and sleep, I put her in a sleep sack (more for warmth than to keep her contained... girl can move around in that thing just as good as she can without it), tell her that her daddy and mama love her, and set her in her crib-- fully and 100% awake. I give her George, her monkey paci (yes, we're still using the paci-- let's not talk about it), wind up her girafee that plays music, turn on the fan, and walk out. I can count the number of times she's cried or fussed on 2 hands. It's magical and wonderful and I am SOOOOO grateful. KNOCK ON FREAKING WOOD. You. KNOCK. DO IT. Thanks.

 

 

I don't consider Bailey a natural sleeper. She has never been and likely will never be a sleepy baby by nature. Even at just a few weeks old, she could stay awake for HOURS at a time. It took a LOT of work to get her on a schedule and have her become a good sleeper. I'm incredibly proud of it. Sure, I'll give Bailey SOME credit. I mean, she is the one sleeping, right? But, I really, really don't think it's just HER and is natural. If it were up to her, she'd crawl around and play til she physically dropped each day. She'd be the queen of the 15 minute power nap. So, I'll give the Hubs and I most the credit. It took WORK, but I am so, so glad we did it and do it again a thousand times over.

 

 

 

Nursing and Solids: Again, no news = good news. We're still nursing 4 times a day. I plan to cut the 2 middle of the day feedings and replace them with 1/2 cow's milk and 1/2 frozen breastmilk (til the stash runs out and then 100% cow's milk) in a sippy cup. Yep. No more bottles! We packed them all up and they are gone! Girl is a champ with the sippy now and didn't have to take a bottle very often anyway so the transition was 100% seamless. 

 

 

 

I know I CAN keep nursing past a year. I know that. I have no shame in saying-- I DON'T WANT TO. I loooove nursing Bailey. I love it. I am so incredibly grateful and proud to say we exclusively nursed for a year. But, I'm ready. I'm ready to not have to think about all the things that come with nursing. And, wanna know what? I don't really have to justify WHY. I'm just ready to be done. At least with the middle of the day sessions. I'd love, love, looove to continue the morning and before-bed session and really hope my supply keeps up so I can.

 

Oh, and I am so, so, soooooo done pumping. Yep. I packed that shit up and threw it into a closet to never, ever think about again. OK, not never. Til Baby T 2.0. But, for now-- NO MORE PUMPING!!! Feel free to have a mini dance party. I did. GOODBYE, Pump! You will NOT be missed. Not even a little.

 

 

 

In the world of solids, girl is a champ (again-- KNOCK ON WOOD PLEASE!!!). She eats pretty darn well. We still struggle with breakfast. She's very hit or miss (way more often miss) on eggs, waffles, french toast, pancakes, and sausage. She LOVES most fruit and yogurt. And, I've learned she'll eat almost anything if I hide it in a bite of yogurt. The hubs jokes that she's going to eat the weirdest foods when she's grown up because of how she eats now (ok, because of how I make her eat now). Whatever. It works!

 

 

I made a homemade minestrone soup (thanks for the recipe, MIL!!) and girl LOVED it. I gave it to her, just without much broth, and she fed herself. She even ate the cabbage. LOVED it. It was so cute!!

 

Her favorite foods of the moment are: yogurt, cheese, pizza, turkey, animal crackers, peas, asparagus, blueberries, ravioli, minestrone, and chili

 

Her very-often-miss foods of the moment are: avocado, bananas, and eggs

 

 

 

 

Likes:

-Pretending to be a and playing with big kids. Girl thinks she's 3. 

 

-Going down slides. How did she even learn how to do this? She loves it! Told you. She thinks she's a big kid.

 

-Standing and walking along furniture/walls and just overall mooooving  

 

 

-Climbing up stairs.

 

-Sadie. 100000 times over. Bailey's love for her doggie just grows and grows each month. It's so incredibly adorable.

 

 

 

-Dada. Girl is a dada's girl. She lights up when he gets home and even just at the sound of his voice. SO cute.

 

-Playing in her carseat (not to be confused with SITTING in her carseat-- see dislikes).

 

-The kitchen. It's her favorite room.

 

-Waving. She loooves to wave. She waves to YouTube videos of other babies, pictures on the wall, Sadie, cars driving by, and pretty much every, single person in a store. ADORABLE.

 

-Eating, bathtime, books, George (her monkey paci), routine, grandma and grandpa (OMG- the cutest thing last week... she was playing on the floor with the Hubs and his mom and Bailey crawled right over to her and sat in her lap and cuddled her. If you know B you know she is NOT a cuddler. It may have only lasted 4 seconds, but it still melted every heart in the room)

 

 

Dislikes:

-SITTING in her carseat. It's not AS bad as it was.... as in, not every car ride is a complete melt down, but she still doesn't like it. Blearh. Oh well. I've conceded to defeat in this area.

 

-The "witching hour"-- 5:30-7pm-ish. Ugh. She's just her crabbiest and an overall grump during this time. Except when she's in the bath. She loves that, so we try to make the bath break the record for the worlds longest bath every night. Parents of the Year, right here.

 

 

New This Month/Special Moments/Milestones:

-Really, really standing. Like, for as long as she wants. She's got the standing thing DOWN.

 

-ALMOOOOST walking. She's taken a step here or there, but nothing substantial enough to call it WALKING. She's THIS close though. Any day.

 

 

-Lots of ba's, da's, ya's... still no freaking ma's, but we'll get there.

 

-Identifying things. I put a ball and a book and another toy on the floor in front of her and say "Bailey, where's the ball?" and she'll pick up the ball. WOAH. Where did that come from?? She's SO big!

 

-Her first Halloween!! She was the cutest monkey evvvvver.

 

 

-Leaning words. OK, she can't TALK yet obviously. But, I'm about 100% positive she KNOWS (at least) the following words: Bailey, Dada, Mama, Doggie, No, Hi, Ball, Book, Water (her sippy), George (her paci), Dance, Shakey (she'll start shaking whatever toy she's holding).

 

Nicknames: Peanut, Peanut Butter, Peanut Butter Jelly Butt, Stinker, Bug

 

Looking forward to: Her birthday party this weekend!!

 

It'll be a great time. And, for the record-- we did not get her a "present". But, we did put money in her college account this week. That counts, right?? :)

 

Oh, and I'm definitely looking forward to her starting to talk and walk. SO MUCH FUN is just around the corner. I CAN'T WAIT!!