Saying Goodbye

I admit it. I'm an emotional mess lately.

While I am so, so ready to be family with the Hubs again and so beyond done being a pseudo single parent, I am also sad to leave the life we created in South Bend.

I was driving by the hospital we had Bailey at the other day and thought "I won't get to drive by this all the time anymore!". And, then I realized we're leaving the house we brought Bailey home to. And Sadie home to!

Needless to say, while I'm excited to move and have some of the last's I mentioned before, there have also been/will be a lot of sad "lasts", too.

Also sad? My goodbye party from work! So bittersweet! I'll miss my co-workers and my job!

The most sad? Easy. Hands down, leaving our daycare. Finding good daycare is HARD. I searched MONTHS to find one. I was so nervous to leave B with someone I didn't know.

Well, turns out, I love, love, loooove Bailey's daycare provider. It was SO hard to leave Bailey with a stranger and go back to work. And, please don't misunderstand me- I am BEYOND EXCITED to get a little extra time at home with her (& I think it speaks VOLUMES that out of everyone I've told our situation to, the older women ALWAYS tell me to take my time finding a new job and just enjoy this time with B-- and, I plan to take their advice!). But, I will miss Bailey's daycare and her teacher. Very much. We've bonded in a way I never imagined when we started. I will legitimately miss chit chatting with her everyday. I will miss her. And, I will definitely miss KNOWING Bailey is in great hands and cared for like family while she's away from me all day. She has been wonderful to Bailey and to our family and she will be missed. Simple as that.

Anyway- I wanted to share the goodbye present we got for her, as I thought it was pretty cute! After numerous Pinterest searches, here's what I came up with...


I bought a plant (with a cute, bright and cheery duckie vase... perfect for a daycare and for a gift from a baby!) and attached a note that says "Dear Miss Bev, Thank you for helping me GROW! I will miss you very much! Love, Bailey".

Get it?? GROW. Because plants grow. Get it?!?! SO clever. Thank you, Pinterest!

 

 

 

Then, using PicMonkey, I made the below print which reads "It takes a big heart to help shape little minds" and framed it. 

I can take no credit for the originality of either idea, but I thought they were super cute, so wanted to share.

Anyway- if you're ever looking for childcare in the South Bend, Indiana area-- let me know. I've got a great one and she'll be missed.

Last Day!

So, I haven't gone into a ton of detail about our big move because the Hubs is all "you gotta be safe!" and stuff.

Explanation- the Hubs actually moved to our new apartment in NW Indiana a few weeks ago and Bailey and I have been solo at our house in South Bend, Indiana since (hence the whole not telling the entire internet that Bailey and I were all alone in our house here). The Hubs had to start his new job, but the health insurance at his new job doesn't kick in til the 1st of the month after you start, so not til May. We're on my insurance now, but it ends the last day of your employment. So, since we're responsible adults with a child and all, we decided we NEEDED to stay on health insurance, so B and I would stay in South Bend and I'd keep working my current job until we were picked up on the Hubs new insurance. Anyway- long story short, we've been living apart for a few weeks. Thankfully, tomorrow is my LAST DAY at my current job which also means it's a few other "lasts"...

-Out last day of being a split up family! So, I know most these points are kinda the same, but they're different enough to merit their own attention. We're a FAMILY and not living together or seeing each other every day is NOT FUN. Over it.

My whole world is in this one picture.

-My last day being without the Hubs! Turns out, I still really love and like him, so I sorta kinda miss that guy. Just a smidge.

An old pic, but look at those dimples! How can I not miss this face??

-My last day being a temporary single parent! To say caring for Bailey alone the past few weeks has been a challenge is an understatement. I have a WHOLE NEW respect for single parents and have NO IDEA how someone does it while working full time. I thought it'd be easy and I'd have SO MUCH TIME to get shit done. Yeaaaah. I haven't done ANYTHING. I get up, get ready, drop B off, work all day, pick her up, play, put her down, go to sleep (often w/o even eating anything because I'm so tired), and repeat. EXHAUSTING. I am SO glad this temporary stage is OVER.

One good thing about the past few weeks? Bailey FINALLY got her feet in her mouth! Lol. Girl has been working on this for WEEKS!

 

 

truth.

-The Hubs last day being a single guy. Ok, ok-- he wasn't single. Obviously. I mean- he had Sadie! :) No, really... he's been solo the past few weeks and I know how much he's missed Bailey and I.

I cannot get enough of this picture. LOOK HOW TEENY SHE IS and OMG he is in love already. I die.

-My last day without Sadie! Not sure if you know this, but I'm pretty obsessed with my dog and while she drives me bonkers, I've missed her like crazy!

THIS FACE. Omg. I miss this face.

-My last day of being employed out-of-the-house-employed. While I JOKE that I'm becoming unemployed, I will still very much have a job. HELLO. Her name is Bailey. And, it is every bit a J-O-B. But, this does mark my very last day of having a paying, out-of-the-house job. Hopefully (for our bank accountant) there's a soon-to-be first day of a new out-of-the-house job not too far in the future. Til then, I'll enjoy every second of "leave 2.0" with my little girl I can get.

Ok, so maybe I won't miss the never ending paperwork, meetings, and constant to-do's of work.

 

 

-My last day having to pump NUMEROUS times a day! WAHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Seriously. SO EXCITED.

Someday, I will go all Office Space on this blasted machine.

So, here I go! So ready to be back with the Hubs and a family again. Lots and lots of changes and super scary, but so, so ready. Wish us luck!

Nap Trumps Workout

There was a time when I was so dedicated to working out and running, I'd pretty much do it 6 days a week, no matter what. Even if I was tired. Even if I had long days at work. Even if I didn't feel like it. It was a priority.

Today is not that time.

Life has other priorities right now. Bailey. Hubs. Moving. Job. Life.

Excuse for a cute Bailey pic? Check!

Still, I TRY to make time. I try to do something active 3-4 days a week right now.

But, today is not that time either right now.

Bailey is having some serious sleep regression issues. The last 4 nights I've averaged less than 5 hours of sleep, and even that was having a max stretch of 90 minutes at a time. I haven't been this tired since her newborn stage. I'm that feels-like-I'm-drunk-and-can't-quite-think level of tired. The idea of intentionally expending energy working out is about the least appealing thing in the world to me right now.

I know, I know. Sometimes after giving it energy, working out give you energy. TOO. BAD. I have none to give. I'm tapped out.

So, yesterday I had a free lunch hour. Didn't have extra work to do. Didn't have any errands to run. So, I was faced with a choice: workout or take a nap in my car. Yep, you read right. NAP IN MY CAR. And, you bet your ass the later won. I took a glorious 40 minute nap curled up in my drivers seat. Worth every.single.second. Best decision I've made all week.

Working out just isn't happening this week. Or likely next week or the week after. I just have nothing left to give it. I'll get back to it. I will. But, not today. Or tomorrow. And, that's just gonna have to be ok. Til then, on a good day, you can find me napping in my car.

(source)

On the Move

Life has been crazy the last few weeks. Isn't everyone's all the time? But, it's been a little extra hectic around these parts lately. Why? Well....

(source)

 

WE'RE MOVING!

A few weeks ago the Hubs was offered a new job in NW Indiana about 90 minutes from where we live right now. It's a great job, a considerable raise for him, and just a great opportunity for him. Too good of an opportunity to pass up.

If only the decision making process were that easy. Ugh. We kinda suck at big life decisions. SO MANY UNKNOWNS! SO MANY WHAT IF'S!

This is what our house looks like right now.  

I am a planner. My wedding had an excel timesheet. I bring printed lists of questions to Bailey's doctor's offices. I like to research things and make logical, well thought out decisions. It's SO HARD for me to make decisions when so much is unknown.

What if the Hubs hates the new job?
What am I going to do?
But, we LOOOOVE our current daycare, what if we never find one we like as much?
Where will we live?
Will our stuff fit in a new apartment?
Or should we buy a house right away?
What if we hate the new city?
What if I never make any friends?

UGH!

It didn't help us make our decision to know that, despite the Hubs raise, I would be going jobless and when you take out my salary, we'd be making less combined than we are now. Even factoring out the cost of daycare (b/c our current daycare is SO affordable... did I mention that I LOVE our daycare?!?!). That was a TOUGH pill to swallow.

Boxes everywhere!!

And, speaking of losing my salary, I was (and STILL AM!) SOOOOO nervous at the idea of being UNEMPLOYED. I've had a job everyday since I was 16. Every. single. day. I work. It's what I do. I'm good at it. I have a strong work ethic. I enjoy work.

At the same time, I MISS Bailey every single moment I'm at work. The idea of getting extra time with her is AMAZING and makes me giddy.

But, it's still scary. We're a 2-income family. What if I can't find a job? What if it takes me a year? What if it makes less than I make now? What if I hate the new job? WHAT IF I CAN'T FIND A NEW JOB???

Turns out, diaper boxes are GREAT for books!

But, after lots of soul searching, budget crunching, mini (ok, maybe not so mini) panic attacks, we decided to take a leap of faith and go for it.

We're taking a chance. We're leaving our comfort zone. It's scary and nerve wracking and exciting. Big rewards come from big risks. You're never going to get anywhere if you don't try new things. So, we're going for it. This job sounds like a GREAT opportunity for the Hubs. When you're married and one partner gets a new job in a different area it's pretty much impossible for the other not to be unemployed for a while. So, I'll be unemployed while I job search. Well, not really unemployed... not employed out of the house is a better way to put it. I'll have Bailey, which is the MOST IMPORTANT job. And, I am beyond excited to get some extra time with her during this "Leave 2.0", as I call it.

I mean... as long as me and the Hubs have these 2 girls with us, what's the worst that can happen? And, how can I NOT be super pumped to get to spend extra time with my 2 favorite girls?? Sign. me. up.

We've found an apartment and the move is in progress. I'll keep you posted as we transition through this crazy process. Moving with a newborn and a dog is going to be anything but smooth, I'm sure. Luckily, I'm kinda a pro at moving, as I've never stayed in the same place longer than 2 years for my entire adult life. Now that the decisions been made, we're in the GET SHIT DONE phase and I pretty much rock at that, if I do say so myself.

So, here we go. It's going to be a bumpy few weeks, but nothing we can't handle. Wish us luck!

Name of the Day!!

HAPPY FRIDAY!! 

(source)

I could not be more excited for this week to be OVER. Tomorrow marks 1 week since the big move and it's SLOWLY but surely starting to feel more like home. Last night the Hubs and I got some artwork up and we ordered a sofa table online which already shipped today! Have I mentioned how much I love Target? A lot. We're still in the process of getting curtains and I think once we get those and finish putting art work up, I'll finally start feeling more settled.

Yesterday was a fun day... I started the day off with 6.5 miles on the good ol' treadmill at the gym in 61:01:26 for a 9:27 average pace.

Not  my fastest, but definitely not my slowest. Thanks to the iPad, Netflix Instant, and season 1 of Felicity I wasn't even that bored. The treadmill and I have a love/hate relationship. After the run I did 10 minutes on the elliptical as a "cool down" before rushing to get ready and get to work on time. Hey... 10 more minutes of a workout far trumps actually getting to work looking presentable, right? :)

After work the Hubs and I cashed in a gift card that's been burning a hole in my wallet for months for Bonefish Grill. We shared the Bang, Bang Shrimp (DUH! If you ever go to Bonefish you HAVE to get the Bang, Bang Shrimp. HAVE TO. Trust me. You'll thank me.) and then I got the dumplings as my entree.

Mmm. So good. I love those dumplings. I had 2 left over, so the Hubs has a nice treat for a snack next week. Speaking of the Hubs, he got this amazing chicken with spinach and goat cheese dish. YUM. Everything at Bonefish is just delicious. Pricey, but delicious. Thanks for the giftcard, mother in law! You're the best!

You'd think after stuffing myself silly at Bonefish, I'd be good on the food-front. Well, first of all, if you really thought that clearly you don't know me. I'm never "good" on the food front. There's always, always, always room for (you guessed it) fro yo. Now, the Hubs and I have made a pact to limit our fro yo consumption to once during the week (usually Monday's during our weekly walk) and once on the weekend. Well, clearly we already got it once on Monday, buuuuut-- yesterday was different. It was special.

See! It was special! I HAD THE NAME OF THE DAY (spelling doesn't count)!! Mine was FREE. We HAD to go. I mean, c'mon. HAD TO. Plus, we decided we'd just count it as our weekend trip, since we'll be out and about all weekend anyway. Win, win.

We wrapped the night up with laundry and the Olympics. Oh! And, we put some pictures/artwork up around our house. YAY!

See those things on the walls? PICTURES! ON THE WALLS! YAY! And, that hamper there was a pretty monumental find, too. It's hiding this ugly mark on the wall. Do you  know how freaking hard it is to find a hamper that's over 30" tall? Freaking HARD. I went to Bed, Bath, and Beyond twice, Target (where they had one, but it was like $80! WHAT?!?!), Wal-Mart, Burlington, Marshals, Meijer, 3 Goodwill's... phew! It was like the never ending hunt. I finally got this from a BBB on the otherside of town after finding it online. Thanks to a handy 20% coupon, this sucker was only like $30, plus we had store credit left over from the wedding. SCORE.

So, it was a pretty fun, low-key, low-cost night. Gift cards, name of the day, and store credit? I'll take it!

Today's a rest day (yay!). I've got a busy day at work to get through before going grocery shopping and baking cookies tonight. Tomorrow we're going to the in-laws to hang with some out-of-town relatives visiting for the day. There maybe some beach action involved. There will definitely be some cookie action involved.

Oh, and you know... before all that fun family/beach/cookie action I just have a super short 18 mile run to get in. NO. BIG. DEAL. I signed up for a 10K tomorrow (kinda spaced on it! Just realized-- CRAP! That's TOMORROW!), so I'm gonna get up crazy early to get 12 in BEFORE the 10K. AWESOME. Hey... at least it'll make those last 6 go by faster. And, the race is in walking distance from our house! Even EASIER. Can't beat that. It'll be my longest run evvvvver. We'll see if I survive. Oh, and then I have that whole Color Fun 5K Run thing Sunday. WTF was I thinking with 2 races back to back AND doing a 5K the day after a 18-miler? Not quite sure. Sometimes I'm not so smart. Whatever. It'll be a fun, sweat-filled weekend. MY FAVORITE! 

Happy Friday! Have a great weekend!!

Funk

I'm in a funk. There, I said it. And, I realize it's crazy talk-- but, let me explain.

I mean-- first it is extremely important to realize I'm crazy. Otherwise none of this'll make sense. So, that's clear now, right? Good. Great.

This weekend, the Hubs and I (with the help of my in-laws van and my BIL-- thank you!!) started our big move Saturday morning. We're renting a house in a college-student-filled part of town. Not a great part of town, but hey-- it's a HOUSE. Not a big house, but a house. No sharing walls with other people. No quarters for laundry (b/c-- this house has a washer and dryer! YAY!!). No vomit on our doorstep (hopefully). The Hubs and I saw this place twice before we signed the lease and yet still, when we walked in on Saturday-- we were both taken aback. It simply wasn't what we remembered. It was much smaller than we remembered and much more... hmm... how can I say this.... crappy. Beat up walls, non-touched up paint, scuffed floors, etc. I had a slight breakdown and freaked out. Then (ok, after several more minutes of freak out, tears included), I sucked it up and we started moving stuff in and now I think it's going to look just fine. Want a sneak peak? Here's the new kitchen:

So, I'm done panicking for now. The Hubs and I area spending a good chunk of the evenings this week over at the new place cleaning and fixing a few odds and ends. I guess when you live in a major college town and decide to rent from a college-land-lord you have to kinda expect to live like a college student. I'm not entirely OK with that, so we're going to try to fix some stuff to move to at least the grad-student level. Baby steps, people. Baby steps.

Backing up a smidge from the weekend, Friday night we drove 2+ hours to Grand Rapids, MI to visit some very good friends, 2 of which just had a baby! Ok, well-- the woman HAD the baby. But, her and her Hubs are now new parents! Their baby is the CUTEST thing ever. Adorable! Teeny tiny hands and feet and the smallest, most perfect little nose! She's adorable. It was love at first sight. I'm obsessed.

We didn't get home Friday til after midnight. Luckily the Hubs drove so I napped for about half the drive. I crashed right when we got home and was up Saturday morning by 6am to get my long run in. Now, most people might say doing a long run the morning before moving all day is a lil' crazy. Most people would be right. Hindsight is always a bitch.

I did 11 GLORIOUS miles. I had 10 on the schedule. It was a cutback week. From my first steps I knew it was going to be an amazing run. Maybe it was just knowing I only (told you I'm crazy) had to do 10. Maybe it was the cooler temps. Maybe it was the fact that Friday was a total and complete rest day. I have no idea. Whatever it was, I'll take it. I loved every step of this run. If I had more time, I would have done next weeks LR today and taken next week as the step back week. You just never know when you're going to have one of these runs again. I soaked up every second I could. 11 wonderful miles in 9:40s, with a ginormous smile plastered to my face the whole time.

The rest of Saturday was spend moving, moving, and moving. I was exhausted, beat, warn down, and OVER the day by dinner time. I would have loved to just taken a hot bath and hit the hay... buuuut, no! I promised the Hubs we'd see BATMAN! One of his friends came into town, so the Hubs, his friend, my BIL, and I were off for dinner, fro yo and Batman.

I'll admit it... fro yo was definitely the best part of the night. 100x better than Batman. Don't tell the Hubs I said that.

Now, you might not know this-- but, my Hubs is a pretty big nerd. Like, huge, huge nerd. He made us get to the theatre an HOUR early so we could get good seats. And, we even already had our tickets! Whatever. It's why I love him. And, we weren't even the first people in line, so I guess I can't judge too much. I did almost fall asleep while waiting in line, but whatever. So, we Batman-ed. It was a great movie, but I was EXHAUSTED by the end of the 3-ish hour event. We got home around 11:30 and I was out like a light by midnight.

Sunday morning I got up and reluctantly went to the gym. I was beat. I didn't want to go. I did 60 lame minutes on the elliptical and called it, even though my plan said 90 minutes. Enter, funk. I just did NOT want to workout that day. Sunday we ran some errands, did lots of work on the new house, then went back to our apartment for dinner and a redbox.

 (source)

Movie and dinner were both great. Homemade chicken stir-fry with brown rice and Friends with Kids. Definitely worth the $1.28 to see it. Thanks for the recommendation, Kara!

I forgot Monday I had a doctor's appointment, so no spinning for me. Which worked great for me because I just did NOT WANT TO WORKOUT. I did go to the gym and did 6 miles on the TM in 9:40s, but-- MAN! I did not want to go! Again-- FUNK. Who thinks they're in a funk when they still get 6 miles in?? THIS KID. I'm a freak. 6 miles is just not a lot these days, so I felt like I didn't even workout yesterday. CRAZY BRAIN.

This morning, my alarm went off at 5am and I turned that shit off in 2.2 seconds. No way was I getting outta bed. Again FUNK, party of 1. Right here. UGH! I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm going to go this afternoon and hope to get 6 miles in, but uuuugh. I don't want to!!!!!! I hope this funk passes soon! I really can't afford to slack on training. I know that. My head knows that. But, ugh! The idea of working out right now just sounds terrible. WHO AM I!?!?! I love to sweat. What's going on?? Maybe all the moving stress? Maybe just a regular run of the mill funk that'll pass soon? Ugh. Whatever it is... I hope it's on its way out and I'll be back to my normal two-a-day, sweat-tasitc self ASAP. A girl can dream, right?!? :)