Anyway- it's been a week. A week of mistakes and forgets and triumphs and struggles and tears and smiles and laughter and everything in between. Biggest lesson I learned my first day back? LIFE GOES ON. Nothing stops when you're not at work. Work still happens. Life still happens. And, at the same time, when you go back to work, life doesn't stop. It might hurt like hell to leave your baby at daycare or wherever, but it is what it is. Life will continue to move on. You either move with it or you... well, I suppose you just do. Simple as that.
So, I've been moving with life. It's been much harder than I expected in some ways and a little easier than I expected in others. I figured before we get to all the lessons I've learned and words of wisdom I should never try to give this early in the game, let's just look at a day in the life instead. A not-perfect day in the life, too. So, here's what my Thursday, February 20th looked like...
2-2:20am: I hear Bailey start squirming over the monitor and think to myself (after several curse words) "HOOOOOOOOOOW IS SHE UP AGAIN SO SOON?!?!?!?". We just nursed at 11:30pm. No way is she hungry again. So, I go in and pop the paci in her mouth and hope that does it. I lay back down and fall immediately back asleep.
2:20-3:30am: Nope. Didn't do it. She's back up. ARRRRRRRRGH!!!!!!! I know she's not hungry yet and I know if I feed her this early, she'll be back up all night. It's her thing. She's squirmed out of her swaddle and just gotten herself worked up. I pull her out of the crib and lay on the floor with her on my chest. She falls immediately back asleep. I doze in and out on the very uncomfortably hard floor. Fun times.
3:30-4am: She's back up and I know she's really hungry now. We nurse. As much as I hate getting up in the middle of the night, I really and truly love our MOTN nursing sessions. It's so quiet and peaceful and it's feels like she and I are the only people in the world. It's the most bonded and connected I feel to her. While I am counting down the moments til she starts sleeping through the night, a BIG part of me will miss these moments.
4-5:45amam: Put her back in her crib. Girl is OUT like a light. I crawl back into my bed after shoving Sadie out of the way. The Hubs and I caved and let her sleep with us now. Girl thinks she owns our bed and 100% takes over my side when I get up to nurse. She's lucky she's so cute.
Girl thinks she owns our bed.
5:45-6:20am: My alarm goes off. I curse in my head. A lot. If you're counting, I slept-slept from 9pm-11:30pm, 12am-2am, and 4-5:45am. That's not a lot of sleep. Add in that it's broken up sleep and there's not enough coffee in the world to make me feel like I'm 100% awake. Ugh. It's gonna be a long day. Anyway, I get up and head downstairs to get ready for work. Well, first I make a BIG cup of coffee. Then I get ready and feed Sadie.
6:20-7am: The Hubs just got up and took Sadie out then he wakes Bailey up at 6:30am and changes her diaper. She is SO fun in the morning. All smiles. Love it. Anyway- after he changes her he kisses us both goodbye and we have our morning nursing session. And, I admit it- I play candycrush or read blogs on my phone while she's nursing. I also finish my cup of coffee and eat 2 pieces of cinnamon raisin toast while pumping.
7-7:15am: Put Bailey on playmat for some tummy time (she likes it now!) while I brush my teeth, make the bed and change into my clothes. After I get dressed I put my robe on (GREAT TIP!!) because I inevitably get puked on at least 1-2 more times before getting B in her carseat. Oh the glamorous life of a mom.
Yep. SO much baby spit up all over. I'd have to change clothes like 12 times if I didn't wear a robe over my work clothes in the morning. Best tip ever!
"Let's go, Mom! I don't wanna be late for school!!"
7:30-7:35am: Drive to daycare. Yes, it's only a 5 minute drive. LOVE.
7:35-7:40am: Daycare drop off. Tear. Hasn't gotten any easier.
7:40-7:45am: Drive to and arrive at work (SO nice that daycare is so close to my office).
7:50-8:10am: Pumping session #1
8:10-10am: Work, work, work. Usually I'd have breakfast at my desk sometime in here. Today, I had a couple classroom presentations and just got busy and forgot. Whoops.
10-10:15am: Pumping session #2 (while working at my desk)
10:15-12pm: Work, work, work. I also chug a bunch of water and have a fun-size pack of M&Ms and a fun-size snickers. Sorry I'm not even a little sorry.
12-12:15pm: Pumping session #3 (while working at my desk)
12:15-1pm: Take my "lunch hour" and head to gym for a workout. Today it was 30 minutes of elliptical the day before it was a 4-mile run. Trying to do a little something most days, even though I'd rather curl under my desk and take a nap. If it were warmer out I legit might go take a nap in my car.
1-1:15pm: Scarf down lunch at my desk. Today it was an egg salad sandwich, pretzels, a pear, cheese stick, a lactation cookie (recipe & review coming soon!) and a diet pepsi.
1:15-2pm: Work, work, work.
2-2:15pm: Pumping session #4 (while working at my desk)
2:15-4pm: Work, work, work. I also eat a SUPER healthy snack and chug a bunch of water.
4-4:15pm: Pumping session #5 (while working at my desk). I'm working REALLY hard my first two weeks to get LOTS of pumping sessions in while at work to help establish my pumping supply. It takes a LOT of time and is SO time consuming and freaking HARD to get sessions in. I was lucky this day and got 5 in (1 of which was before work). I'll be glad if most days I get 3, MAYBE 4, in.
4:15-5:30pm: Work, work, work. By this point in the day I feel completely brain dead and exhausted. Usually I leave the office at 5pm and go pick Bailey up at daycare and am home by 5:30pm, but Thursday's I have to work til 5:30pm, so the Hubs handles daycare pick up.
5:30-5:35pm: Drive home.
5:35-5:55pm: Nurse Bailey and chug some more water. Nursing makes me SO thirsty.
6-6:30pm: This day was pretty weird and not at all a normal day. Most days this would be when I would pump again, then dinner time, family time while we play with Bailey, and get-shit-together-for-tomorrow time, but tonight I went to a class at a local Women's Care Center (which was supposed to go to 7, but got out at 6:30! Woowoo!) while the Hubs and B got some daddy-daughter time.
6:30-7:15 Again, it was not a normal night. Normally we'd still be doing family time and getting Bailey ready for bed (bath, book, change into PJs, etc.), but tonight we went to Five Guys for burgers and fries. Sometimes it's just needed. Sorry I'm not sorry.
7:15-7:30: Shower. Yes, I am a fast shower-er.
7:30-8:15pm: Nurse Bailey and rock her for a bit. Yes, I nurse Bailey to sleep. Yes, I know you're "supposed" to put the baby down awake so they can put themselves to sleep. Whatever. I don't care even a little. Get over it.
8:15-8:40pm: Dry my har. Prep anything that still needs to get preped for the next day (pack lunches, prep bottles, pack daycare bag, etc.)
8:40-9:10pm: Pump... AGAIN. UUUUUUUUUGH. I've been having some supply issues, despite EVERYTHING I can do (full post coming soon) to prevent it. One of the things I'm trying to do now is pump before bed, even though it's a PAIN IN THE ASS. I hate the pump. HATE. The hubs and I watch a little TV while I'm pumping so at least I get a few minutes with him, even if it is while hooked up to a machine being milked like a cow.
9:10pm: BED. I PASS OUT pretty much the second my head hits the pillow.
We alternate every other night between a bottle and me nursing for the 11:30pm feeding. Last night was a nurse night so tonight's a bottle night, which means a bit extra sleep for me. THANK GOODNESS!!